I'm pretty disgusted with my body. There, I said it, that's the first step in actually getting something accomplished. However, I'm just a bit lazy and I'm not much of a fan of watching what I eat or exercising my butt off for two hours a day. Isn't there something easier?
In my quest to find the "easy solution" to weight loss, I research my first procedure -- the detoxifying bodywrap. I head over to a natural health clinic in Apple Valley, Minnesota, for this procedure where I will be measured, exfoliated, smothered in cream, wrapped in plastic and made to lie down for about 45 minutes.
I arrive late (typical of me) and meet Megan and Andrea. I pay my money for the three treatments (three are suggested for the optimum effect) and even buy the extra "Take Home Kit" which is always referred to as the THK. I am taken into a room where I strip down to my skivvies and allow this nice lady to exfoliate me with a sweet smelling scrub.
Next is the measurements. When I say measurements, I mean entire body -- arms, bust, abdomen, waist, upper hip, lower hip, upper thigh, upper knee, lower knee, calf, ankle. I didn't get this many measurements getting my wedding dress made (for those who know me, that would be ANY of my wedding dresses made).
Then comes the cream. Andrea smothers me with an incredibly wonderful smelling cream from the neck to the ankles. She tells me it's in the cinnamon family but I'm not really paying attention because it smells so good. It smelled like a fresh baked snickerdoodle cookie -- of course that isn't the image you want in your head whilst trying to seriously lose weight.
I'm all layered up in snickerdoodle cookie batter (that's what I call it anyway) and it's time to wrap me up. I'm not exaggerating when I say Andrea just started at one end and went round and round me until I was nice and snug in my baking plastic. I'm sure I have worn something tighter than this in my lifetime but it was most likely during my rebellious teen stages just to get the shock factor out of my mother.
Andrea says "ok, lay down on the table". Yeah, easier said than done. I couldn't move! So, she just kind of gently pushed me and I "fell" onto the table. I thought I was just going to lie there for 45 minutes while this snickerdoodle cookie batter sunk into my pores but that was not the case. Once lying down (a feat in itself mind you), Andrea messaged my face, hands and feet. WOW! A message and the smell of cookies, how much better could this get?
It ended way too soon for my tastes (ah ha, get it, taste -- pitiful joke). But the whole rationale of the detox body wrap was that the exfoliate brushed away the dead skin, the cream opened the pores and was able to get into the body and the plastic wrap helped the process.
These treatments are supposed to be done exactly one week apart so my next one is next Thursday. I might pay a little more attention next week because I will already know how awesome the cream smells. Note to self: like you do for grocery store visits, eat before you go or else you might lick your arm off.
Current measurements: Bust: 35; waist: 31; hips (at largest part): 43; thighs: 27 each; and arms: 12 each.
Total inches lost: Approximately 1/4 from each arm, 1/2 from the abdomen and 1 from the hips. Off to a good start I'd say!
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